April Fool's Day

April Fools' Day, sometimes called All Fools' Day, is one of the most light hearted days of the year. Its origins are uncertain. Some see it as a celebration related to the turn of the seasons, while others believe it stems from the adoption of a new calendar.

New Year's Day Moves
Ancient cultures, including those as varied as the Romans and the Hindus, celebrated New Year's Day on or around April 1. It closely follows the vernal equinox (March 20th or March 21st.) In medieval times, much of Europe celebrated March 25, the Feast of Annunciation, as the beginning of the new year.
In 1582, Pope Gregory XIII ordered a new calendar (the Gregorian Calendar) to replace the old Julian Calendar. The new calendar called for New Year's Day to be celebrated Jan. 1. That year, France adopted the reformed calendar and shifted New Year's day to Jan. 1. According to a popular explanation, many people either refused to accept the new date, or did not learn about it, and continued to celebrate New Year's Day on April 1. Other people began to make fun of these traditionalists, sending them on "fool's errands" or trying to trick them into believing something false. Eventually, the practice spread throughout Europe.

Problems With This Explanation
There are at least two difficulties with this explanation. The first is that it doesn't fully account for the spread of April Fools' Day to other European countries. The Gregorian calendar was not adopted by England until 1752, for example, but April Fools' Day was already well established there by that point. The second is that we have no direct historical evidence for this explanation, only conjecture, and that conjecture appears to have been made more recently.


Constantine and Kugel
Another explanation of the origins of April Fools' Day was provided by Joseph Boskin, a professor of history at Boston University. He explained that the practice began during the reign of Constantine, when a group of court jesters and fools told the Roman emperor that they could do a better job of running the empire. Constantine, amused, allowed a jester named Kugel to be king for one day. Kugel passed an edict calling for absurdity on that day, and the custom became an annual event.

"In a way," explained Prof. Boskin, "it was a very serious day. In those times fools were really wise men. It was the role of jesters to put things in perspective with humor."

This explanation was brought to the public's attention in an Associated Press article printed by many newspapers in 1983. There was only one catch: Boskin made the whole thing up. It took a couple of weeks for the AP to realize that they'd been victims of an April Fools' joke themselves.

Spring Fever
It is worth noting that many different cultures have had days of foolishness around the start of April, give or take a couple of weeks. The Romans had a festival named Hilaria on March 25, rejoicing in the resurrection of Attis. The Hindu calendar has Holi, and the Jewish calendar has Purim. Perhaps there's something about the time of year, with its turn from winter to spring, that lends itself to lighthearted celebrations.

Observances Around the World
April Fools' Day is observed throughout the Western world. Practices include sending someone on a "fool's errand," looking for things that don't exist; playing pranks; and trying to get people to believe ridiculous things.
The French call April 1 Poisson d'Avril, or "April Fish." French children sometimes tape a picture of a fish on the back of their schoolmates, crying "Poisson d'Avril" when the prank is discovered.

Fun with Spoonerism

Spoonerism

A spoonerism is an error in speech or deliberate play on words in which corresponding consonants, vowels, or morphemes are switched. It is named after the Reverend William Archibald Spooner (1844–1930), Warden of New College, Oxford, who was notoriously prone to this tendency. While spoonerisms are commonly heard as slips of the tongue resulting from unintentionally getting one's words in a tangle, they can also be used intentionally as a play on words.


Some Funny Examples

"Fighting A Liar" for "Lighting A Fire"

"You Hissed My Mystery Lecture" for "You Missed My History Lecture"

"Cattle Ships And Bruisers" for "Battle Ships And Cruisers"

"Nosey Little Cook" for "Cosy Little Nook"

"A Blushing Crow" for "A Crushing Blow"

"Tons Of Soil" for "Sons Of Toil"

"Our Queer Old Dean" for "Our Dear Old Queen"

"We'll Have The Hags Flung Out" for "We'll Have The Flags Hung Out"

"You've Tasted Two Worms" for "You've Wasted Two Terms"

"Our Shoving Leopard" for "Our Loving Shepherd"

"A Half-warmed Fish" for "A Half-formed Wish"

"Is The Bean Dizzy?" for "Is The Dean Busy?"

"Know Your Blows" for "Blow Your Nose"

"Go And Shake A Tower" for "Go And Take A Shower"

"Tease My Ears" for "Ease My Tears"

"Nicking Your Pose" for "Picking Your Nose"

"You Have Very Mad Banners" for "You Have Very Bad Manners"

"Lack Of Pies" for "Pack Of Lies"

"It's Roaring With Pain" for "It's Pouring With Rain"

"Sealing The Hick" for "Healing The Sick"

"Go Help Me Sod" for "So Help Me God"

"Pit Nicking" for "Nit Picking"

"Bowel Feast" for "Foul Beast"

"I'm A Damp Stealer" for "I'm A Stamp Dealer"

"Hypodemic Nurdle" for "Hypodermic Needle"

"Wave The Sails" for "Save The Whales"

"Chipping The Flannel On Tv" for "Flipping The Channel On Tv"

"Mad Bunny" for "Bad Money"

"I'm Shout Of The Hour" for "I'm Out Of The Shower"

"Lead Of Spite" for "Speed Of Light"

"This Is The Pun Fart" for "This Is The Fun Part"

"I Hit My Bunny Phone" for "I Hit My Funny Bone"

"Flutter By" for "Butterfly"

"Bedding Wells" for "Wedding Bells"

"I Must Mend The Sail" for "I Must Send The Mail"

"Cop Porn" for "Popcorn"

"It Crawls Through The Fax" for "It Falls Through The Cracks"

"My Zips Are Lipped" for "My Lips Are Zipped"

"Bat Flattery" for "Flat Battery"

"Would You Like A Nasal Hut?" for "Would You Like A Hazel Nut?"

"Puke On" for "Coupon"

"Belly Jeans" for "Jelly Beans"

"Eye Ball" for "Bye All"

"Fight In Your Race" for "Right In Your Face"

"Ready As A Stock" for "Steady As A Rock"

"No Tails" for "Toe Nails"

"Listen Here" for "Hiss And Lear"

"Bowl Of Salad" for "Soul Of Ballad"

"Who Of Tarts?" for "Two Of Hearts"

"Whore Of Farts" for "Four Of Hearts"

"Hate Of Arts" for "Eight Of Hearts"

"Hen Of Tarts" for "Ten Of Hearts"

"Space Of Aids" for "Ace Of Spades"

"Spore Of Fades" for "Four Of Spades"

"Spate Of Aids" for "Eight Of Spades"

"Door Of Fireman's" for "Four Of Diamonds"

"Dive Of Fireman's" for "Five Of Diamonds"

"Dicks Of Simon's" for "Six Of Diamonds"

"Clue Of Tubs" for "Two Of Clubs"

"Clive Of Fubbs" for "Five Of Clubs"

A Valentines Day Gift (Rated: 16+)

As Valentines day was approaching, Charlie decided to buy a special gift for his new girlfriend, Ruth. The couple had not been dating for very long, and so Charlie wanted to make sure the gift was just right. Ruth was always complaining about having cold hands, and so Charlie - after careful consideration - decided a good gift would be a nice pair of gloves.

Charlie took his sister with him to buy the gift - he wanted a woman's opinion. They found a nice pair of gloves at the store, and Charlie's sister purchased a pair of panties at the same time. Unfortunately, the sales clerk got the two items mixed up.

Charlie mailed his Valentine's Day gift to Ruth, accompanied by the following note:

I chose this Valentines Day gift as I noticed that you often don't wear any when we go out in the evenings. If it had not been for my sister, I would have chosen the ones with buttons, but she prefers short ones that are much easier to remove.

These are a lovely colour. The lady at the store where I bought them showed me the pair she had been wearing for the past three weeks, and they were hardly soiled at all. I had her try yours on for me and they looked quite lovely.

I wish I was there to put them on you for the first time; no doubt, other hands will come into contact with them before I have a chance to see you again. When you take them off, remember to blow on them lightly before putting them away as they will naturally be a little damp from wearing.

Just think how many times I'll be kissing them in the future. I hope you'll wear them Friday night for me.

Love, Charlie

What is knowledge?

During work, Robert and Dilbert were chatting:

Robert: Dil, I've been attending night classes for 5 months now and I have an exam next week.
Dilbert: oh!

Robert: For example, do you know who is Graham Bell?
Dilbert: No
Robert: He's the inventor of the phone in 1876; if you take night Courses you would know this.

The next day, the same discussion took place:

Robert: Do you know who Alexander Dumas is?
Dilbert: No
Robert: He's the author of "The 3 Musketeers", if you take night courses, you would know this.

The next day, once again:

Robert: And do you know who 'Jean Jacques Rousseau' is?
Dilbert: No
Robert: He's the author of "Confessions", if you take night courses, you would know this.

This time, Dilbert got irritated and said: And you, do you know who is Robin?
Robert: No
Dilbert: He's the guy roaming with your wife!! If you stop night courses, you would know.