An atheist was spending a quiet day fishing when suddenly his boat was attacked by the Loch Ness monster. In one easy flip, the beast tossed him and his boat at least a hundred feet into the air.
The monster then opened its mouth while waiting below to swallow man and boat. As the man sailed head over heels and started to fall towards the open jaws of the ferocious beast he cried out, "Oh, my God! Help me!"
Suddenly, the scene froze in place. As the atheist hung in midair, a booming voice came out of the clouds and said, "I thought you didn't believe in Me!"
"God, come on, give me a break!" the man pleaded, "Just seconds ago I didn't believe in the Loch Ness monster either!"
"Well", said God, "now that you are a believer you must understand that I won't work miracles to snatch you from certain death in the jaws of the monster, but I can change hearts. What would you have me do?"
The atheist thinks for a minute and then says, "God, please have the Loch Ness Monster believe in You also!".
God replies, "So be it!"
The scene starts in motion again with the atheist falling towards the ravenous jaws of the ferocious beast. Then the Loch Ness Monster folds his claws together and says, "Lord, bless this food You have so graciously provided!"
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
The Beggar
Once a man was waiting for a taxi. A beggar came along and asked him for some money. The man ignored him. But being a professional, the beggar kept on pestering him. The man became irritated when he realized that the beggar would not leave him alone unless he parts with some money.
Suddenly an idea struck him.He told the beggar, "I do not have money, but if you tell me what you want to do with the money, I will certainly help you!" .
"I would have bought a cup of tea", replied the beggar. The man said, "Sorry man! I can offer you a cigarette instead of tea!".
He then took a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and offered one to the beggar. The beggar told, "I don't smoke as it is injurious to health!".
The man smiled and took a bottle of whiskey from his pocket and told the beggar, "Here, take this bottle and enjoy the stuff. It is really good!". The beggar refused by saying, "Alcohol muddles the brain and damages the liver!".
The man smiled again. He told the beggar, "I am going to the race course. Come with me and I will arrange for some tickets and we will place bets. If we win, you take the whole amount and leave me alone!".
As before, the beggar politely refused the latest offer by saying, "Sorry sir, I can't come with you as betting on horses is a bad habit!".
Suddenly the man felt relieved and asked the beggar to come to his home with him.
Finally, the beggar's face lit up in anticipation of receiving at least something from the man. But he still had his doubts and asked the man, "Why do you want me to go to your house with you?".
The man replied, "My wife always wanted to see how a man with no bad habits looks like!".
Suddenly an idea struck him.He told the beggar, "I do not have money, but if you tell me what you want to do with the money, I will certainly help you!" .
"I would have bought a cup of tea", replied the beggar. The man said, "Sorry man! I can offer you a cigarette instead of tea!".
He then took a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and offered one to the beggar. The beggar told, "I don't smoke as it is injurious to health!".
The man smiled and took a bottle of whiskey from his pocket and told the beggar, "Here, take this bottle and enjoy the stuff. It is really good!". The beggar refused by saying, "Alcohol muddles the brain and damages the liver!".
The man smiled again. He told the beggar, "I am going to the race course. Come with me and I will arrange for some tickets and we will place bets. If we win, you take the whole amount and leave me alone!".
As before, the beggar politely refused the latest offer by saying, "Sorry sir, I can't come with you as betting on horses is a bad habit!".
Suddenly the man felt relieved and asked the beggar to come to his home with him.
Finally, the beggar's face lit up in anticipation of receiving at least something from the man. But he still had his doubts and asked the man, "Why do you want me to go to your house with you?".
The man replied, "My wife always wanted to see how a man with no bad habits looks like!".
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